You Could Be Happy
by D.H. Spy
Summary: Julian has left Dalton and Logan realises how he feels when he no longer has the company of his best friend. Story of their feelings and their actions after they part. Based on You Could Be Happy by Snow Patrol. CP Coulter's Daltonverse. Jogan.


_**Author's Note:**_

_**Here is the Jogan oneshot that I have finally written. I have been wanting to for ages and did so a couple of weeks ago. Yay!**_

_**If you ship Jogan, or just like reading it then I have a Tumblr, idhspy . tumblr . com (remove the spaces), where you can prompt me for Jogan drabbles or other Dalton ones. :D **_

_**Also! This is my 10th story! YAY!  
**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters or the song, which belong to CP Coulter and Snow Patrol respectively. Both are awesome, so go and check them out! :D And if there are any references to Glee, I don't own that either.  
**_

* * *

You Could Be Happy

Julian looked back over his shoulder at Stuart. It had been the only place he could ever call home; he had always been able to go back there over the past three years, no questions asked. He had so many memories there, great ones and horrible ones, but they were all things he wouldn't change.

Except for one.

Hell Night.

The night that he was forced to admit to Logan that he was in love with him, the night when he was worried that Logan and the others might die. Life was never the same after that.

Logan had stared at him intently for the past week, and he was very quiet. It was starting to unnerve Julian, so he lashed out, he yelled about how he was the same person, just now Logan knew everything. Logan sat quietly through it and didn't argue back, a first for him. Things had definitely changed.

Julian turned away from Stuart, took a deep breath and a step forward. This time he was leaving.

For good.

* * *

_You could be happy, and I won't know._

* * *

Logan watched as his best friend walked away from the building. He saw him take one last lingering glance, and a tear that he wasn't sure that Julian had even noticed slip down the side of his face. He had hoped that he would see Logan in the window and stop, maybe even wave or give a sad smile, and then Logan could motion for him to wait. If Julian did, he would run outside and kiss Julian like it was their last day together as a couple forever. Which, in a way, it was.

But Julian didn't see.

Logan closed the curtain and turned back into the room, the room that had been carefully stripped of all of Julian's things; Julian had a habit of making mess in Logan and Derek's rooms as well as his own. He found an assignment on his bed, it was one of Julian's. A panic swept through him and he considered running outside and chasing down his taxi because he might need this assignment. Then Logan remembered how Julian didn't go to school anymore, no longer took History. The assignment would mean nothing to him.

Logan flopped down onto his bed and stared up at the ceiling. He had never felt this way before, not even after Blaine, Josh or his failed conquest with Kurt. It felt like a part of him was missing, like he was empty. Maybe before he was too drugged up to have this feeling, but he knew that it was new.

He missed Julian.

* * *

_But you weren't happy the day I watched you go._

* * *

Julian opened the taxi door and slid in whilst the driver put his bags in the back. Luckily there weren't many, Carmen had taken care of the others somehow. He sat there in silence, staring out of the window at Dalton until the driver got back in. When the driver spoke, however, he wasn't speaking to Julian. That was when he realised that there was someone else in the car.

"Mom?" He asked, not believing his eyes. His mother hadn't come out to Dalton to pick him up before.

"Hi, sweetie." She said, smiling sadly at her son, not giving any explanation of why she was there.

"Why are you here?" Julian asked, his sadness momentarily taken over by curiosity.

"Because, honey, you're leaving Dalton for good without a full explanation, and you sounded terribly sad on the phone." Dolce explained gently. "You're leaving all your friends behind."

"I have Clark and Cam." Julian countered.

"They're not proper friends." Dolce decided to take the plunge and say what she knew would make him crack. "Not like Derek and Logan."

Julian stiffened at the sound of his friends' names. He was trying to forget them so that he wouldn't miss them, but here his mother was, mentioning them so that he had to be strong so he didn't start crying.

"Why did you leave them?" Dolce asked softly, putting a hand over her son's which was resting on his leg.

"It was too painful." Julian replied. "I couldn't stay any longer."

"The school? After Parents' Night with the stalker?" Dolce asked, on the wrong trail completely. "Were the memories too much?"

"Kind of." Julian said, staring out of the window, avoiding eye contact with his mother.

"Kind of?" Dolce asked softly. She needed to know what was upsetting him so she could comfort him, even if it meant bullying him to begin with. She knew that that was the only way that Julian would break down.

"Adam…Adam made me…" Julian trailed off, no idea how to phrase it, he was effectively about to come out to his mother after all.

"What did he do?" Dolce asked, sliding closer to Julian, her mind thinking up all of the worst possibilities.

Julian closed his eyes and pretended that he was on a TV show. That it wasn't real, that was, after all, the easiest way for him.

"He made me tell the one person that I love that I love them."

"Is that so bad?" Dolce asked, still confused.

"It was Logan." Julian stated.

"Logan?" Dolce asked, her tone still soft and managing to hide the surprise that must be there.

Julian nodded.

"Does he love you back?"

Julian shook his head. "Not how I love him."

"Are you sure?"

Julian nodded, and for the first time since Hell Night, he let himself cry properly, he let himself be comforted. Dolce wrapped her arms around him and held him for the rest of the drive, letting his tears soak her jacket.

* * *

_All the things I wish I had not said, played on loops 'til it's madness in my head._

* * *

Logan would've cried, but everyone knew him as heartless so it wasn't an option if he didn't want to be bothered, which was the case. He did wake up some mornings with a wet pillow, a sign that he had either cried himself to sleep or cried in his sleep. He did vaguely remember Derek coming into his room one night, asking if he was okay because he could hear him sobbing. Logan didn't deny it, because he wasn't really awake, and he could feel tears running down his face, but he didn't affirm it either. So Derek settled for moving into the room to try and calm Logan during his nightmares. He still had his room for studying and keeping all of his stuff, but he slept in the spare bed in Logan's room. The two had become a lot closer ever since Julian had left.

Julian.

Logan wouldn't admit to realising his feelings for his best friend just as he was leaving, that would be too tragic. Instead, he searched through memories trying to find moments where he had fell for Julian. He could almost trick himself into finding things, but he knew, deep down, that it wasn't the truth.

Logan Wright was in love with Julian Larson and now it was too late.

* * *

_Is it too late to remind you, how we were?  
_

* * *

_3 years later_

* * *

Julian's life was going well. He had a few big movies under his belt and still had his recurring role on _Something Damaged_. He had plenty of money, enough to stop working for the next ten years and live extremely comfortably. He didn't really care about the money though, as long as he had enough to keep him going, that would be fine. He cared more about the distraction that his work gave him. He could escape from the pain that losing what he never had had given him.

He had tried to move on, he'd been with lots of people over the past three years, men and women. He would show off the women, but not the men. He _had_ come out to the world, but he wasn't ready for that step. Besides, men were too close to Logan and he didn't want Logan thinking that he had moved on, just in case he _did_ love him. It was a long shot, and his logic was twisted and taking over his life, but he needed to have a least a tiny shred of hope to help him through the day. He couldn't not think about Logan, which was what hurt him the most; it was like his own mind was working against him.

Julian still kept contact with Derek, he needed one tie with his old life at least. Julian would occasionally go to Derek and Casey's for dinner, or they would just phone each other. The subject of Logan was carefully skirted around, and was only brought up if Julian mentioned him.

Julian hadn't seen Logan at all in the past three years, and he had just about come to terms with never seeing him again, when he saw him at one of his movie premieres.

Logan Wright was running towards him.

* * *

Logan had tried to move on too.

And by that, he had taken his meds every day for the past three years without fail. That way, he couldn't feel, therefore, he couldn't hurt.

That didn't mean that it didn't go away.

It was like Kurt. Logan hated the thought of Kurt now. Not the person, just how Logan had tried to make him his own whilst completely overlooking the one person in the world who did love him, anger and all. But it was like how Kurt made him feel whilst he was on his meds, except now that Julian was gone, there was only pain.

Logan had turned into somewhat of a fanboy. He went to all the premieres of Julian's movies, saw them at the earliest showing, almost attacked his TV whenever Julian was shown on the red carpet with someone else, he bought all the magazines that had interviews with him in. It would've been creepy, had he not been trying to hang onto Julian with everything he had.

Ok, it was creepy.

That didn't mean that he was doing it maliciously though, he was doing it purely because he needed Julian back in his life. Which makes him sound like a crazed fanboy, but at least Julian had been a big part of his life. Julian _is_ a big part of Logan's life.

Logan had actually seen Julian on many occasions over the past few years. After graduating college, finding Julian was his next highest priority. The only problem was that he didn't have the courage to go up to Julian and say what he wanted to. He always chickened out, or when he had finally got the courage together, Julian would leave or something would happen.

He was determined that tonight, however, he would talk to Julian.

He was prepared, he had been doing so for the past month and a bit. Tonight was another one of Julian's movie premieres, not one for a massive movie, so Logan wouldn't be ruining much. He had managed to get tickets, being a Senator's son and friends with a football player helped, so he wouldn't be taken away by security. He had a little speech prepared and what he would do all ready so he wouldn't flail. He would get there just at the right time so that Julian would be halfway down the red carpet, talking to fans, so that he wouldn't be too busy and then Logan could talk to him. He knew that Julian didn't have a date for tonight, he'd read it somewhere, so there wouldn't be any awkwardness there either.

It should all go to plan.

(Hopefully.)

* * *

Logan had asked Kurt for advice on what to wear. Yes, he was so worried, he asked _Kurt_. Kurt came over, and bought Reed with him, and helped him to get ready. Made him look smart, but not too overdressed. They made Logan glad that he had kept some friends from Dalton, they truly acted as if they wanted to help him, and they did all they could to help. More than was expected of them by far. Kurt had even said that he would cook a meal for when Logan (and possibly Julian) got back.

Logan was glad he had friends.

His taxi came at about 5pm, and he was ushered out of the door by Reed and Kurt, who were behaving like two mothers or something watching their son go to school. It would've been funny and heart-warming had he not been so petrified.

Logan eventually arrived at Times Square, and paid the driver before stepping out and taking in the sight before him. There were massive posters of all of the main characters in the film, including Julian, although Julian's part wasn't all that big, Logan guessed that as he was such a popular actor he would bring in more money. It definitely brought Logan to it.

He needed to find Julian quickly, preferably before the film was shown, after that there was sure to be after parties and he would never find Julian in that crowd. Now was his only chance.

He stepped onto the red carpet and instantly felt out of place. He had never been to one of these events on his own before; Julian had taken him, and sometimes Derek too, to a couple back in high school, but he hadn't been since. Not on this side of the barriers anyway.

Logan was wandering down the carpet, when a familiar chestnut head disrupted his thoughts.

_Julian_.

Logan knew it was him from the small glimpse of his hair, and knew that he was moving because that was all it was, a glimpse. Logan started to walk towards where he had seen it, and knew that Julian was moving, that meant that he wasn't being interviewed. He broke into a slow jog, desperate not to lose this opportunity.

When he was about 20 metres away, Julian turned his head towards Logan and stopped mid-autograph. His lips mouthed Logan's name as if he couldn't quite believe it. Logan looked like he was close to tears, and Julian felt the same.

_Logan's running towards me and he looks happy. He wants to see me._

And Logan started to slow down, knowing that now, Julian wasn't going to turn away and leave him, they could savour this moment.

It had to be one of the happiest moments of Julian's life. He hastily finished the autograph and returned it to the girl who looked less happy with Julian now that he wasn't paying any attention to her. As if his brain had been waiting for this moment forever, Julian's arms opened instinctively, and Logan ran into them, flinging his arms around Julian's neck. Julian's arms wrapped tightly around Logan's waist and he took a silent vow to never let go.

"It's been far too long, Jules, far too long." Logan said through his tears into Julian's neck. Julian nodded and held Logan close.

It had been too long, and Julian hoped that he could make up for lost time.

* * *

Julian wanted to just go back home right after Logan had ran into his arms and spend the night talking with Logan and finding out exactly where they stood, but he couldn't leave.

But Logan was now at his side, so he didn't mind so much.

Julian managed to get Logan a seat next to him, so they didn't have to separate so soon after regrouping. They had to sit at the back of the theatre though because the ones where the cast were sat were all arranged perfectly. The back worked for them though, they could chat quietly without disturbing anyone, and Logan was so tall that his head would've probably got in the way.

Julian found that he had missed Logan's sarcasm and cynicism much more than he would have thought. Little comments throughout the film such as "Seriously? That would _never_ happen," or "Oh yeah, because we all know that she would eat," made him laugh because they were usually things that he thought were true, but had never voiced because no one would listen, or he would get sacked.

He had missed Logan.

Logan's hand worked its way into Julian's during the first few minutes of the film, and Julian's head was rested on Logan's shoulder just after halfway through. They were both nervous, but when they found that the other didn't recoil, they relaxed and everything was much simpler. The real trouble would come when they left the theatre.

* * *

Julian didn't go to any of the after parties, he feigned sickness in order to catch up with Logan. Julian lead Logan to a car he had called to take them wherever, and they got in. The car ride was only slightly awkward, they were going back to Logan's apartment and they were talking about how they had come to live in New York.

The rest of the evening went well, they stayed up until the early hours talking, and then gradually falling asleep against each other, and then they woke up together with the backdrop of a beautiful New York sunrise.

And that's how they would wake up for the rest of their lives, the sunrises would change, but the people would stay the same.

* * *

**_A/N: I hope you enjoyed it! Please review, I like to know that there are fellow gondaliers out there who I can write for. :) And also I like to hear your views. :D Love, DH :) x_**


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